Missing him...
Almost every one of my friends already knows what happened with my love life. Have I told you that after one month of our break up, he went to my home and we talked what happened. Sobra na bother ako because iba pala yung iniisip niya na dahilan why I broke up with him. We cleared that issue. Now, last Saturday he went to my house ulit because may kaylangan ako bigay sa kanya. He is asking for another chance. I just realized dapat monthsary namin yun. I know I still have feeling for him. I know I am moving on. But for the first time nahirapan ako ulit. Sabi niya I have to give him a chance to make up to me sa mga ginawa niya. I was firm na ayoko na, ayoko pa. I guess napagod na ko to work things out. I want to be happy and I am happy with what is happening in my life right now. I was feeling down nung weekend, mimiss ko siya and parang I want to give it another try. So to not think and do anything about it...kasama ko nanaman for the whole day yesterday si Joyce. Tapos nag chat ako kagabi...sinabi ko yung dilemma ko kay chow...sbi nya sakin “you don’t owe him anything, in fact he owes you everything to be happy kaya dapat distance muna” Medyo napaisip ako. I guess I just need to stand firm in what I want...and think of only myself...and what makes me happy...and I am happy with my life without him.
posted by My Haven at 11:57 AM
10 Comments:
Ey wala lang... it has been a while, more than 15 months now... wala lan... finally I have the courage to answer this blog,pasensiya na kung ngayon lang, maybe because I waited to move on before I could read this again... kasi medyo masakit pag binabasa ko before... I get into a fit of rage when I do read this... but now, I will just shed light... naks... ;D
Almost every one of my friends already knows what happened with my love life. Have I told you that after one month of our break up, he went to my home and we talked what happened. Sobra na bother ako because iba pala yung iniisip niya na dahilan why I broke up with him. We cleared that issue.
- Yup and we even cleared a bigger issue just last week... just to let you know how much you knew what was going on with our past relationship... and how much you took me for granted...
Now, last Saturday he went to my house ulit because may kaylangan ako bigay sa kanya. He is asking for another chance. I just realized dapat monthsary namin yun. I know I still have feeling for him. I know I am moving on. But for the first time nahirapan ako ulit. Sabi niya I have to give him a chance to make up to me sa mga ginawa niya. I was firm na ayoko na, ayoko pa. I guess napagod na ko to work things out. I want to be happy and I am happy with what is happening in my life right now. I was feeling down nung weekend, mimiss ko siya and parang I want to give it another try. So to not think and do anything about it...kasama ko nanaman for the whole day yesterday si Joyce. Tapos nag chat ako kagabi...sinabi ko yung dilemma ko kay chow...sbi nya sakin “you don’t owe him anything, in fact he owes you everything to be happy kaya dapat distance muna”
- ito siguro biggest dissappointment ko sayo, believeing other people because they tell you what you want to hear rather than what is the truth... (e.g. JnJ and UST)
who the F*ck is Chow to tell you that???? Does he know anything???? does he know everything???? hehe... kinuwento mo ba lahat ng ginawa mo sakin??? baka pag kinuwento mo lahat, or even you're real intentions nung sinagot mo ako, baka iuntug niya yung oblong niyang mukha sa pader... ;D
Medyo napaisip ako. I guess I just need to stand firm in what I want...and think of only myself...
- what's the difference nung tayo, at nung hindi na tayo?????
and what makes me happy...and I am happy with my life without him.
- glad you're happy... I am too... thanks for the learning experience... ;D
Oh and to set the record straight, I am not mad nor bitter at what happened... like I said, for you our break up was one month in the making... for me it was 18 months in the making... kaya siguro the pain was heavier but the transition was easier on my part... ;D
The only thing that pissess me off, is that many people around you tell you hatefull things about me, eh hindi naman nila ako kilala... wake up girl, they use this para bumango image nila sa iyo, sympathethic ad caring and a shoulder to lean on MY ASS!!!! hehe... ;D PATHETIC...
anyways, again a few words of wisdom before I go...
"Take care of what you have, for you don't know how important things are until they are gone..."
"Be carefull of advices... some may seem true because it's what you want to hear, if so then you are just fooling yourself..."
and last but not the least... the biggest question of them all...
Sabi nila, sa isang relationship isa dun sa couple ang swerte, I mean that person is lucky to get the significant other...
In our case, ako daw ang swerte, in our case ako ang mali (based on everyone else excluding me), in our case ang sama sama ko and I treated you like dirt... sinaktan kita... di kita inalagaan... in short hindi kita minahal...
You felt this kasi it was force fed into you... you know the people who suggested this...
But I know deep down inside... you know you we're on the losing end on this break up... I am that confident, I am that arrogant, because I know I have loved you more, much much more, than you ever loved me...
DARE TO SAY OTHERWISE?
Yeah, I know you loved me more than I loved you. But my friends didn't think that you didn't loved me, its just the way you treated me. Yes, I didn't know that you wanted to end the relationship 1 1/2 years nefore we actually broke up. And learning about it has been hard because all the while I was really trying to work things out in our relationship and you were already thinking a way out. I guess different opinions and different perspective in our realtionship. I know I have my shortcomings but I didn't think it was my fault. And I don't want to think it was my fault because I tried. I tried my very best. I hope this settles everything. =P
I never criticized Ogee for his looks before, kahit nung break up season nila ni charol. Pero since ganun nalang sabi nya about chow... allow me to voice this out. Si Chow...hindi bilog! He's much more proportioned physically and he can carry himself with the right attitude. And kahit mga friends ko na bilog... they carry themselves well, love themselves for how they are made, and they're loved for who they are. Who's superficially judgemental now?
Charol did her best to save the relationship, kahit anong kulit ko na itigil na nya to, coz i think she was so unhappy. She used to call me up, for more than a year, complaining, crying and pouring out her frustrations. I don't think she deserves that kind of life.
Ojee let the problem exist, even though he's the 1st one to realize such. Your correspondence here confirms the story that all friends know. Friends reacted according to the correct story. No one should be pissed off with the response of friends...obvious ba kung bakit ganun ang reaction ng friends, unless they are dumb or numb?! Pero normal na mga tao kasi friends ni Charol. Hindi sila slow.
Charol became a much better peson after their break up and Ojee should accept that. She became independent, happy, always in line with the latest fashion and prettier too! And I'm happy she made the right decision. Nobody forced her. It's just that, no girl can stand that so-called standard of love, although it took her sometime to realize that.
Charol had moved on long time ago, whereas Ojee sounds bitter until now, even though he claims he's not... and now, he's hunting her again. This is not a corporate world. Why is crab mentality present in this situation? Let go man... and stop blaming people!
I want my best friend to be loved and cared for. I want my best friend to be happy.
To all of Charol's friends who stood by her, many thanks for helping my best friend. It means a lot to me.
On the second thought... di ba talaga magiging happy si charol pag sinagot nya si @#@#$$%^*&? Abangan...Bwahahahahahahaha!
I never criticized Ogee for his looks before,
- uhm... OJEE po speeling ng name ko... shows how much you cared for me... hehe... nickname na nga lang po... ;D
- hmmm... I just smiled after reading this...
-;D you may never criticized my physical appearance... but am sure though that you had similar sentiments about me being "hwana"...
- also, I don't know why you took "oblong" as a criticism???? I know if you say: "mukkhang box" (large jawline) or "bilog na bilog" (fat or just plain chubby)would be an insult, but as far as I'm concerned normal faces are shaped as an oblong... even my HS art teacher told me that oblong faces are considered to be beatiful, compare to other shapes of course... hmmmm... affected??? hehe... ;D
kahit nung break up season nila ni charol. Pero since ganun nalang sabi nya about chow... allow me to voice this out. Si Chow...hindi bilog! He's much more proportioned physically and he can carry himself with the right attitude. And kahit mga friends ko na bilog... they carry themselves well, love themselves for how they are made, and they're loved for who they are. Who's superficially judgemental now?
- uy, I think I hit a sensitive spot... maybe... most probably... after all, the comment was not for you... and most probably, the next thing you're going to say is that you're just defending you're friend... ehem ehem... whatever you say... ;D
- besides I don't know what "superficially judgemental" mean... ;D
Charol did her best to save the relationship, kahit anong kulit ko na itigil na nya to, coz i think she was so unhappy. She used to call me up, for more than a year, complaining, crying and pouring out her frustrations. I don't think she deserves that kind of life.
- you are so right... that's why I had to let her go... ask her about it... ;D the blue wave thing... ;D I also assume you knew about this... after all, by the manner and tone you are reacting, you know everything about thesituation... I mean you did say that all of you "reacted to the correct story"...
Ojee let the problem exist, even though he's the 1st one to realize such.
- is that a fact??? hmmm... then I must be really really be a cold hearted person to do so... ;D or maybe in just the eyes of Cruela Devil (pardon the spelling, I don't know how how the name of the evil character in the 101 Dalmatians movie is spelled)...
Your correspondence here confirms the story that all friends know.
- actually not all friends know... just her frends that are pissed off at me for whatsoever reason... maybe because I lack the lineage, or the name read in a different language... I was still hoping she would talk to some friends of ours that I knew was impartial, and would have tried to save the relationship... like @#$%^&.... sorry I can't show the name, most probably you're pissed at that person too... ;D
Friends reacted according to the correct story.
- I did not say it was not correct, I just asked if he knew anything/everything... I did not question the validity, I questioned the completeness... Please don't twist what I've said... ;D
No one should be pissed off with the response of friends...
- why? It is my right to be pissed off at anyone as much as annyone is to their own opinion... ;D di ba po???? ;D
- SHOULD???? who are you to force unto others what you want???? even GOD gace everyone the freedom to disobey him... who are you to force someone to act a certain way???
obvious ba kung bakit ganun ang reaction ng friends, unless they are dumb or numb?! Pero normal na mga tao kasi friends ni Charol. Hindi sila slow.
- I don't even know where them being slow came from????
- I don't know if she has dumb friends, and even numbe friends... but I am sure she has close minded friends... tunnel visioned friends... and they are the best... ;D besides, some normal people act dumb and sometimes are numb... Is this an example of being "superficially judgemental"
Charol became a much better peson after their break up and Ojee should accept that. She became independent, happy, always in line with the latest fashion and prettier too!
- Yup... so much better... I mean nothing must have happened with her life na negative after our break up right? I mean something na hindi mangyayari kung kami pa din... think again... I know you know something... and if you don't? it's either you don't have all the facts or you just see what you want to see... that's calleddenial po... ;D
And I'm happy she made the right decision. Nobody forced her. It's just that, no girl can stand that so-called standard of love, although it took her sometime to realize that.
- that's what I love about you... you're so supportive and impartial from the very start... ehem ehem... ;D
Charol had moved on long time ago, whereas Ojee sounds bitter until now, even though he claims he's not...
- uhm... gusto ko po sana magreact dito, kaso wag nalang po, kasi baka sabihin ni cha eh sinisiraan ko pa siya... ;D if that's what you see... then so be it... ;D
and now, he's hunting her again.
- WOW!!!! now that is one factual remark... from now on, hindi na po ako pupunta nang bahay niyo, hindi ko na din po kayo pipilitin na sunduin at ihatid ko kayo, at lalong lalo nang hindi ko kayo pipilitin na magdinner sa Jun Jun's... di ba cha? I thought it was a friendly gesture... ako na pala ngayun ang nang-huhunting sayo... damn... see what I mean???? be nice and still you get persecuted... damned if you do damned if you don't... I am hunting you right???? haaay... now I know where them being slow came from... ;D ANYWAY, THANKS A LOT FOR CLEARING THIS OUT... ;D
This is not a corporate world. Why is crab mentality present in this situation? Let go man... and stop blaming people!
- ehem ehem... hehe... kasi po, umpisa palang kami, meron na pong humahatak sa kanya? although hindi pababa... pero palayo... ;D hmmmm.... sino kaya yun???? ;)
I want my best friend to be loved and cared for. I want my best friend to be happy.
- who doesn't????
To all of Charol's friends who stood by her, many thanks for helping my best friend. It means a lot to me.
- this is a nice way of saying: kapit bisig mga kapatid sa pananampalataya... ;D hehehe... ;D
On the second thought... di ba talaga magiging happy si charol pag sinagot nya si @#@#$$%^*&? Abangan...Bwahahahahahahaha!
- Oh I do hope he's the one, you've told me about... lam mo naman sentiments ko dito eh... ;D
GO BD!!!!! :D
* Wow... thanks so much joyce I feel a lot better now... ;D hehe... ;D I had a cloud over my head this morning... was afraid am going to start the week negatively... but thanks to you, I'm feeling perky already... You're a real pal... ;D
Yeah, I know you loved me more than I loved you. But my friends didn't think that you didn't loved me, its just the way you treated me. Yes, I didn't know that you wanted to end the relationship 1 1/2 years nefore we actually broke up. And learning about it has been hard because all the while I was really trying to work things out in our relationship and you were already thinking a way out.
- I was not looking for a way out... As I've said, I gave you the time to move on without me... nakalimutan mo na po yata...
I guess different opinions and different perspective in our realtionship. I know I have my shortcomings but I didn't think it was my fault. And I don't want to think it was my fault because I tried. I tried my very best. I hope this settles everything. =P
- I never said it was you're fault... I even admitted it was my fault... kaya nga po sayo lang ako nagrereact... everyone else saw it as my fault... even to those people who wanted my side, I just said stick with yours... It's settled na... ;D
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Kakatamad magbasa ng long winding rational.
I'm glad this is settled. zzzzzzzz...........
Ojee... Are you done? I hope you're done. We've already talked everything out last friday. Let me just clarify...
1. I just hate it that you keep pushing me with the blue wave thing. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you when you told me that you think we should broke up. I guess I was just commited to "working things out". Now if its my fault in not listening to you then I'm sorry.
2. " I mean nothing must have happened with her life na negative after our break up right? I mean something na hindi mangyayari kung kami pa din"
What are you implying? huh?! I've done somethings that I've regret after natin. The question is have you regreted what you've done after natin? The things that you'e done? Oh yeah, you're a guy. so it doesn't count.
3. "WOW!!!! now that is one factual remark... from now on, hindi na po ako pupunta nang bahay niyo, hindi ko na din po kayo pipilitin na sunduin at ihatid ko kayo, at lalong lalo nang hindi ko kayo pipilitin na magdinner sa Jun Jun's"
I've actually done this because I think we need to talk after what you've written in here. Joyce knows that. "Hunting her agian" na sabi ni Joyce is making this comment and bringing out issues again.
We've already talked about everything ( I hope). As for this reaction of mine I'm sorry but I just need to clear things up. We're two very different people and different opinions and thinking. I'm glad Joyce didn't put here yung mahabang sermon nya sakin baka mas lalo po kayo mag react. So it's settled? I hope no more comments and etc. Joyce is not saying anything na. You have you're own logical thinking and we have our own. For old times sake I would let this pass but please don't mock Joyce again or else this would get uglier... So I hope this is already settled.
i didn't see any mocking at all, coz i am confident of who i am and who my friends are, i know how things really are and what they will be... and there's no point in arguing. i realized i shouldn't waste my time in such and to focus my concern only on the necessary things.
don't be mad charol... sayang lang effort mo. starbucks lang katapat nyan.
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