Road Trip

Joyce & I went on a road trip. Nagpunta kami ng Alabang Town center and we drove or rather Joyce drove, I’m just the passenger (rare yan bec. gusto ko ako nagdridrive). Kahit wala akong boses kwento pa din ako with my life…(Hangang ngayon boses bakla pa din ako and inuubo) Since I’m not concentrating on driving, I have more time to ponder with things. Well, kwento ko kay Joyce yung dream or reality ko. Then I realized what is my ideal guy? Alam mo sbi ko kay Joyce, dapat next boyfriend ko yung katulad ni ______. (ask Joyce) Ever since I’ve known this guy I admired him and respective him. In my wishful thinking I want someone like him. Pero syempre d na siya pwede kasi may girlfriend na. I told Joyce I admire him because of his 1. Faith, love and dedication in God (sobra sobra dito) 2. Sobra mabait and 3.He’s really good looking. I know he is not perfect but I want someone like him. My next question is: am I deserving to get someone like him? Because of my experience with my first ex, I’ve always doubted my worth. I am/have been trying to love, respect, accept and have confidence in myself but everyone really has their own insecurities. Because of my question, I decided that I do not deserve to have someone like him. Then I realized I would just have to pray to God to give me my hearts desire and prepare me to deserving. This road trip took me back in the past and made me realize what I was then and what I am now. And along the way I lost something that is the most important of all…my dedication and love to God. Most of my friends know me now; some know me as the past. My bestfriend is the only one who has known me past and present. When sometimes I doubt myself, she is always there saying “you’re the most independent person I know” and she knows this base on the past. Anyways, my point is I want to bring back my dedication and love for God. I don’t know how can I can achieve this but I know God has His ways. And he already blessed me with a bestfriend and friends around me that’s always there to support and comfort me. With this blessing, I am most thankful for giving them to me. I can do this!