Getting through...

I've actually written a blog last Monday evening, I even published it... but I erased it the next day. It's about being fed up. Fed up being here, doing what some people wants me to do, wanting to go home and I just need a released from all this thinking and not knowing what to do. I guess I'm listening and thinking of what others would think and feel. But the question is am I happy with what I'm doing? Anyways, I'm pass that (or just suppressing it). I'll just blow when I really have enough. You'll know because that's who I am. Sometimes I suppress my feelings until it blows. I still don't know what I'm doing. I still think a lot. Good thing theres dvd series here that I can watch so I won't be crazy from thinking. hehe... I don't want to think anymore. I know what I want to do and be in the future but I just don't know how to achieve it here in China. I don't even have the drive to study and learn chinese anymore...