I want to go home

It’s been quite a while since I wrote in my blog. Aside from work I’m busy watching dvds. It’s the only way I can forget and not think of how lonely and homesick I am. Finished watching House season 1&2, Grey’s Anatomy season 1&2 ( I ssssssooooooo love Mcdreamy!!!!), America’s Next Top Model Cycle 1, Desperate Housewives season 2, One Tree Hill season 1-3 and now I’m watching Smallville season 5. By the way, I’m almost finished watching it too. Maybe I’ll buy the other seasons of Smallville… hmmm..the last time I watched it was season 1 and now am watching season 5 (a huge gap!). Hehe… =) Can’t wait for the next season of Grey’s Anatomy and One tree hill!!! I so love Mcdreamy and papa Lucas!!! =) and also House and Desperate Housewives. I know I sound like a dvd series addict but it’s the only thing that lets me escape my world here and there’s really nothing to do here. Just work and watch dvds. Oh yeah, I also have all the season of Charmed and CSI season 6. =)

One of my closest friends here will go home this Saturday. But she went to Beijing for the rest of the week so I won’t be seeing her until Friday I guess. I’m really getting sad here. Everybody’s going home. I also want to go home! I don’t know if I can last much longer here. I think I can go home next week… hmm… I miss everyone. My family, Jnj Berks, college buddies, Joyce, and other friends. =( I hope I can go home one of these days. I became anti-social here. This is not so me!

But I’m already thinking if I go home, how will I bring my stuffs? Hmm… I know I will come back so I can bring only a few but how about the dvds? Hmm… really need to plan all my stuff! Hehe.. and to think if I will change house here I have a lot of stuffs to pack! Yikes! Hehe… That’s also one reason why I don’t want to go out shopping. I might buy things that will add to my pile of things.

I’m also thinking what to do with my life. Should I stay here and work or should I just go back to Philippines and work there? I’m thinking of a lot of pro’s and con’s with this decision. I think that if I want to work in Philippines, I have to do it right now because why bother to stay here if my future is in the Philippines? I know I should decide where I’m going to be happy but it’s difficult if other people are expecting things from you. I know some thinks that there is no future in the Philippines; my grandmother thinks I can live here more comfortably but sometimes I think is it worth it to live away from people that you love and be unhappy? A lot of people do it. Actually, there’s a lot of Filipino working here. Or maybe it’s just the place? Maybe I won’t be this bored if I’m in Singapore or Shanghai. I know I’m independent and I can live by myself. But is everything worth it?

I should stop this blog because I’m at work right now. Hehe… I just don’t like my work here. I know it’s easy. It’s just Quality Assurance! What’s the difficulty? It’s just so booooring! I don’t know if I can last at this job. I’ve always believed that if you love your job even though you’re stressed out, you will still look forward to going to work. In my case I dread waking up to go to work. Because I feel I’m not accomplishing anything. It doesn’t give me any self- fulfillment. I really have to find another job.